Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Before and After (Part 3)

 So here is the finished product!!  I am so happy with the way it turned out!!  I think it looks spectacular!
 Here is a shot with the Christmas tree!
 This is a good view of the picture wall and Hutch!  We call the shelf Hutch (Rosemary's Baby anyone??)
Course the only problem is we have already almost filled Hutch up.  Check out our wood floors, gorgeous!

Monday, December 27, 2010

Before and After (Part 2)

 So we began construction on our shelf kind of at the last minute.  Seeings how we have no car we depend on the kindness of our friends with cars when we need to move big items.  In this case my friend Jules loaned us her Ford Explorer for the afternoon.  We went to the Home Depot in Flushing Queens.  The cinder blocks were buried in the very, very, far, far back corner, blocked by palate after palate of various materials.  We loaded 8 huge 14 x 12 blocks of cinder onto our cart and went and got the Plywood, and paint.  After dropping off the supplies at home we drove the car back to Jules, hopped back on the train (not before stopping at Nook and Cranny (47-42 Vernon Blvd)).  After then it was a race to beat the setting sun.  I raced to the roof with 2 stools to use as saw horses and an electric sander and went to town on our plywood.  

Meanwhile Dan was in our foyer wiping the cinder blocks down with rags and then painting them.  Cinder Blocks soak up paint like a sponge.  After I finished sanding on the roof I started painting our plywood (after wiping the excess saw dust).  In the hall outside our apartment.

  While the first side of my boards dried I went and moved the records and the bookshelf away from the wall, stacked them neatly in piles, and swept and mopped the whole area.  Thus killing several dust bunnies, "I'm not mad at you Helga I'm Mad at the dirt"
Dan takes a break and enjoys a banana.
I am done with my banana, now back to work!
We decide to repaint our radiator cover while we are at it.
records!  records! everywhere!

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Before and After (Part 1)

I think we have about 2000 records and living in New York presents a lot of storage challenges even though we have a big apartment with a lot of closet space.  Being 2 homosexual males with a lot of clothes plus the whole wardrobe for a drag queen our closets are full.  We have successfully filled a 3 x 3 cube shelf I got at Target about 8 years ago.  Each cube holds about 100 records, so that's 900 (give or take). 

Here we have the spill over area (the floor between my desk and the wall) in a particular state of disorder.  Dan says it makes us look like hoarders, and to be fair I took these pictures when it was a bigger mess than usual, but I think these will only make the after shots look all that much better
We thought about buying more cube shelves from Ikea but decided not to conform to those clever Sweeds and their modular furniture.  So instead we are gonna go for the classic cinder block shelf.  So now we just have to borrow a truck from our friend Jules, locate a Home Depot with somewhat competent employees, gets some paint, and some cinder blocks and we will have our new shelving unit.  Bah-bye spill over zone, hello sheik, sleek new look for our parlor!  That's right, we have a parlor.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Get That Squaw Off My Warpath

We were on St, Marks Place digging at Rockit Scientist Records (33 St. Marks Place, Ny, Ny 10003) when Dan came across Loretta Lynn's 1969 album Your Squaw is on the Warpath

I didn't know much about Loretta Lynn, but I love the album art, I love the uneven application of brown makeup to make Mrs. Lynn look more like an engine,  and I love campy Native American anything (Seriously I think I have 5 or 6 cigar store Indians).  So for 4 bucks this was a steal!  The title track has quickly become one of our favorite songs, along with Kaw-Liga, Harper Valley PTA, and Let Me Go You're Hurting Me Loretta Lynn has a new fan.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

One Record to Rule Them All...The Tolkien Mega-Post

This is the double LP of the Rankin/Bass 1977
Television production of The Hobbit, complete with the 14 page full color book.  Basically you could put the DVD on and close your eyes its the exact same thing.  As a huge Tolkien geek (seriously its bad) I love this shit!  The animation, that Rankin and Bass style brings me instantly back to my childhood.  You can enjoy the Glenn Yarbrough Classic The Road Goes Ever On or the disco classic Down, Down to Goblin Town  I got this on ebay for 2.99 plus 2.99 shipping as a reward for working a 70 hour week for gay pride.
These are the original iron on decals that came with the record.  I owe David Ballantyne a huge thank you for these cause my special edition copy didn't include the iron on's. When visiting Oregon a year or two ago I told him I had been looking for the Bakshi LOTR soundtrack he graciously gave it to me.  Along with these iron on's from his Hobbit set, apparently his came with 2 sets of decals...maybe that's where mine ended up.  Either way I love them, and I swear when I lose weight I am making Hobbit tee-shirts!
This one is a little bit of a cheat.  If you look in the top left corner you can see this isn't actually the LP, its the tape!!!  I wanted to include this A. because I have had this since I was a wee tot  B.  As you can see this is the art from the Decals above. This reminds me of my family's road trip to Minnesota when I was in the 2nd grade.  I listened to this and Mary Poppins for 3 thousand miles.  Dociousalleyexpepiditionsfudgeycaliwoofus!

Here is the Rankin and Bass Return of the King Cartoon.  With a 10 page booklet inside.  I can't remember where I got this but I know I only paid 4.99.  I would say the highlight of this movie, without question is the disco super classic Where There's a Whip There's a Way although the stirring ballad Frodo of the Nine Fingers is a close second.
Here again is the Disney book and tape, also a hold over from my second grade road trip.  Now that I think of it, my Dad listened to Classical Gas non-stop the whole minivan ride there and back again.
The ill-fated Ralph Bakshi 1977 Lord of the Rings with a brilliant score by Leonard Rosenmann.  Another one that rings (HA) me back to my childhood!  This was a gift from David Ballantyne.  I enjoy this movie and I think the score sounds like something Bernard Hermann might have done.  I am on the lookout for the 4 picture disc versions of this soundtrack.
Here Tolkien in his own voice reads excerpts from his books. Even for a die hard Tolkien fan like me this is a dreadfully boring album.  It would be the greatest way to fall asleep any night you are plagued with a bout of insomnia.  I go this one at Nook and Cranny an antique store on Ditmars Blvd about a block from my house.  It was an freakin' steal at 5 bucks!
Here is another book on record, this time it's read by Tolkien's son Christopher.  Again is it an exciting listen??  No, not at all, but I couldn't pass it up for 5 dollars at Academy Records (415 E. 12th Street).  And finally the last record in my Tolkien mega-post is the The Hobbit read by Nicol Williamson.  It's a  4 LP set with a small booklet read stunningly by Williamson, a classically trained British actor.  I got this from gemm.com/ a great re-source for online album shopping. 

Monday, December 20, 2010

Do It...Debbie's Way

There are very few people in this world whom I would want to work out with, let alone celebrities.  I suppose I'd sweat to the oldies with Richard Simmons, or pump the thigh master with Suzanne Summers.  I think Jane Fonda would be a bitch so I'd rather have nothing to do with her.  But Debbie Reynolds is just my speed.  She is a classic from the good old days of the Hollywood scene, she is known to imbibe in a drink or 7, and she has my mom's hair from 1984.  This amazing album comes complete with step by step instructions and big Time Celebrity Co-Stars like Terri Gar, Florence Henderson, Virginia Mayo, Pat Van Patten, Terry Moore, Dionne Warwick, and my personal favorite Shelley Winters. Now that's what I call sweating with an oldie.

I love when Shelley Winters, lying like a beached whale in the back row, hollers out "RAISE YOU HAND IF YOU SLEPT WITH HOWARD HUGHES"

Good old Flo Henderson, and trusty dusty Dionne Warwick

A selection from the step by step instructions.

and Terri Garr! I mean does it get much better than this?

Saturday, December 18, 2010

The Sensuous Woman

Dan reading The Sensuous Man
Dan came into my life already owning The Sensuous Man By M.  Lucky for me he came pre-trained in the art of being a Sensuous Man all due to this magical book with chapters like GETTING IT UP AND KEEPING IT UP and FAREWELL TO PREMATURE EJACULATION it's the perfect tool for any man.  One day he came home from a record digging expedition saying he had seen a record for The Sensuous Woman but didn't buy it because it was priced at a steep 6 dollars.  A few weeks later my dear friend Julie D. was in town and mentioned she had a hankering to pick up a Wings album.  We ended up back at the Tropicalia In Furs a record shop in the East Village (305 E. 5th street) that I found thanks to Dust and Grooves (a fantastic blog check it out!!!).  And there she was, The Sensuous Woman By J. in all it's 6 dollar glory.  I couldn't pass it up and i am so glad I didn't.  The Sensuous Woman is brought to life by  Connie Z. who sounds like a slut and talks you through the delicate art of Orgy Etiquette, how to harden ones nipples and a plethora of other feminine delights.  I think Connie Z. puts it best when she says " Even if you are knock kneed,  flat chested, cross-eyed, and balding you can learn to have a really joyous and fulfilling sex life".

Friday, December 17, 2010

Ho, Ho, Ho!

I am a sucker for the Christmas Holiday.  It's something about the pageantry of the whole thing, the decorations, the food, the tree.  But the thing I love most about Christmas is the music.  Here are a few of our strangest Christmas Album's.
Nothing says yule tide cheer like a crusty old racist chicken salesman.  Unfortunately it's a compilation that was given away at KFC restaurants around the country in 1969 and not a album featuring his southern fried vocals.  None the less this album art is priceless!

I am sure that many many people have been "Under the Mistletoe" with Mae West.  Here she is, mistress of the double entente' , in a sparkling new role.  As the fairy on your Christmas tree. My personal favorite is Put the loot in the Boot or A Man Under the Mistletoe is Worth Two in the Bush
HA! Mennonites!  Enough Said.
 And Finally Jerry's Scott's self produced Christmas Album.  He does it all that Jerry Scott, he sings, he plays piano, he does backup vocals, he wears tinted glasses.  All he needs is a windowless van.

Happy Holidays From both of us here at Vinyl Whores!

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Welcome To Vinyl Whores

My name is Garth my boyfriend Dan and I are record collectors.  We both have dabbled in the vinyl trade for years but things always got in the way of our becoming a full fledged balls to the wall record collectors.  Whether it be money, school, drugs, or loose women we always had an excuse why we didn't devote our full attention to the gathering of weird and rare LP's.

When I was attending Sprague High School in Salem, Oregon I was a frequent Shopper at the Value Village out by the airport.  Mostly I was there for furniture and clothes but one day fate led me to the record bin which was chock full of the usual dollar store items.  Englebert Humperdink, that damn Johnny Mathis, Time Life compilations, Classical, Opera, Bette Midler, if you frequent dollar LP bins you know the ones I am talking about...But this trip I was fated to find my very first weird record.

Her name...Rexella, her game Jesus.  Her album art....priceless.  Her price at the Value Village $1.99

And thus my love of bizarre, weird, and fucked up records came to be.  When I met Dan many years later it was like 2 evil forces coming together to become one unstoppable being of Vinyl collecting madness.  We each have different tastes, different styles, both we are both very passionate about finding treasures in the Dollar bins and this is a chronicle of what we find, where we found it and how much we shelled out.  I hope you all enjoy.