Sunday, April 10, 2011

Sweating with an Oldie

Ladies and gentleman weighing in at 190lbs, greased from head to toe in Johnson and Johnson baby oil, hair by Shirley Q. Liquor, the gay Jack Lalann, Richard Simmons!!!
It was only a matter of time before I broke out the big guns, which is what Richard Simmons calls his balls.  I believe the official name of what these folks are doing is the "testify" and all while they are no doubt sweating to an oldie. 
Like Tammy Faye I love Richard Simmons!  I love someone who is so genuinely interested in helping people.  But like Tammy Faye I can understand why someone would be put off by him.  He is a short, oily, loud, homosexual, who is obsessed with exercise and Barbra Streisand. 
I love the shots of audience motivation, I always wanted Bea Arthur to be my personal trainer.  Not because of her sick ripped body, but because of her commanding  vocal presence.  Imagine Bea standing over you yelling, GO, GO, GO, GO, all while wearing a stylish house dress!!  My abs are tightening at the mere thought of it.
My friend Jeanine who lives in Los Angeles says you can take a class with Richard Simmons.  I would do it in a heartbeat but i live 3,000 miles away in a real city.  I do however encourage anyone living in the Los Angeles area to check it out and report back to me.
Just to prove that i am in fact a Richard fan, here is my personally autographed photo (obtained for me by Jackie Miles).  Brilliant!

I always enjoyed Richard and Letterman's chemistry...Hey guys check out my new friends blog Zip Your Rip if you like my blog you will love this.  Kitschy amazing stuff!

1 comment:

  1. In my preschool years Mom and I would regularly exercise to Richard Simmons. At the time I didn't realize just how odd he was. Does Dan remember this? I wonder if he and Mom did this too?
    It was on mid-day, and was followed by Phil Donahue. Once there was a promo for Donahue on during Simmons previewing that day's show focusing on transgender transitioning. The promo caught my four year old eye excitedly. I must have said something like "Brilliant! I think I'll be a boy" Mom responded rather clearly "No, no you won't". End of story.