Thursday, June 30, 2011

Lazy Sounding Ladies Week: Bobbie Gentry

I have a real thing for a lady who sounds so casual when she sings its almost as if she couldn't be bothered.  There are precious few women who can pull this off, Peggy Lee, Dusty Springfield, Nancy Sinatra.  Not only do these women make it sound easy but they are actually projecting more than most people when they push their belt.  It's just a naturally strong sound.  Here we have Bobbie Gentry of Ode to Billie Joe fame she is today's Lazy Sounding Lady.  This is Fancy, not fancy like "my what a fancy blouse you have on", but as in "here's your one chance Fancy don't let me down."  The story song about a hooker named Fancy, a song later covered by Reba.   Bobbie was a great story song writer. In fact many of her songs are story songs.

Bobbie Gentry is another singer (like Dusty and Peggy) who you should know. If you only know their hits I implore you to listen to more.  This is my favorite track off the Fancy album called He Made a Woman Out of Me.  A song I had to sing after my affair with Burt Reynolds, boy did he make a woman outta me!

Let's take a minute a drink in this album art. It's delicious, it's southern, it reeks of exactly the sound the album produces.  A kind of southern countryfied funk with a lazy lilt.  It's perfect hot summer day music, or in the dead of winter it's a nice reminder of what summer feels like.

Gentry kind of disappeared off the scene in the 70's retiring to California and never performing again.  I guess some people get their taste of it and can just stop.  Well we miss you Bobbie, but thanks for the music.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Lazy Sounding Ladies Week: Dusty Springfield

Dusty Springfield is the best singer who every lived.  It's not arguable, this is a fact.  Dusty Springfield is just simply the best.  Like many of you I discovered Dusty because of Pulp Fiction, and like many of you I assumed this Dusty Springfield woman must be Black because she sang with such soul, and bravado.  Come to find out, not only was she white, but also British (she fools you with her near perfect teeth.)  I suppose the album most people think of when they think of her is Dusty in Memphis.  It's the album where Dusty moved away from her Burt Bacharach sound, and went mowtown.  And though I LOVE Dusty In Memphis (enough to say with confidence that It would surely place in my top 3 albums of all time) I decided to introduce you to a lesser known Dusty treasure Brand New Me.

In interviews Dusty has talked about how much she admired Peggy Lee, and very much tried to emulate Lee's style of singing. Which if you put these two songstresses up against each other they certainly have a quality that you could call similar.  Which is why they are both featured in Lazy Sounding Ladies week.  I was gonna add more but for the third time this week Blogger is sucking my ass.
 She looks so much like Judith Light in that picture.

If you don't have any Dusty Springfield there is no time like the present to get her in your life

Monday, June 27, 2011

Lazy Sounding Ladies Week: Peggy Lee

Who doesn't love Peggy Lee?  She is perfection and a perfect way to start lazy sounding ladies week.  A lazy sounding lady is a singer who sounds almost as if they could hardly be bothered to sing, but manage to fill their voices with emotion unfathomable, belting their apathetic guts out.  And Peggy Lee was the queen of it.  Of course everyone knows her popular hits Fever and Is That All There Is?  But I could not resist sharing one of her strangest albums, Mirrors.  The whole things makes me think of Angie Dickenson in Dressed to Kill???  I think that was the point of a Leiber and Stroller song to draw images of loose broads sprawled out on grand pianos, drinking courvoisier, moments away from having a Jodie Foster pinball machine moment.
For those who aren't in the know Jerry Leiber and Mike Stoller are the song writers responsible like every  song ever written; Hound Dog, Yakety Yak, Jailhouse Rock, I'm a Woman, Spanish Harlem, and Is That All There Is?  This is Peggy's tribute album to these amazing songwriters and she has picked some of their most effed up material to share with us and thank God she did, cause this album is an experience that will leave you saying....what the fuck?  Check out for instance the first track on side two, and my personal favorite song on the album, Professor Hauptmann's Performing Dogs.  6 minutes of sheer theatrical weirdness.

Dan has been obsessed with Peggy Lee since he was a wee lass of 7 years old and He's a Tramp is still one of his signature songs.  In fact to this very day Dan trys to lead a "Peggy Lee lifestyle" know booze, and apathy, and getting smokes in his maribu house slippers all while being blond and statuesque. 

Dan's Grandfather grew up with Peggy Lee in Jamestown, North Dakota where I am told he got to third base with Peggy in the sandbox during recess.  So we are basically related to her.  Here is another totally amazing, fucked up song, just have a listen to The Case of Mj.  Pay particular attention to the parts where she speaks   "How old were you when your Father went away?"

So weird right? I wanted to go out on a more Peggy Lee note so the final track is I've Got the Feeling to Good Today Blues, a song I am familiar with from Patti LuPone's Live at Les Mouche album where she is high as a kite, coked to the night club rafters belting her guts out, whooping and hollering as Patti is known to do. So Peggy's is like the polar oppisite.  But this is Lazy Sounding Ladies week so a slightly more subdued version should be expected.

So as I said this is Lazy Sounding Ladies Week, check back for a new lazy sounding lady each day.  And congratulations to New York, I am proud to be a resident of this state this week!

Friday, June 24, 2011

HAPPY GAY PRIDE from LIZA and the Vinyl Whores

What's gayer than Liza??  Not much, not even Rosie O'Donnell fucking Jim J. Bullock is gayer than Liza.  She has exclusively married gay men, sung gay song's, worn gay clothes, and her mom was fucking Garland.  Liza is an icon, a Living Legend and my source of gay pride this year.

This rare little goodie, Liza at the Winter Garden, is perfection.  Liza is in top form, original material by John and Fred (like the Track above Exactly Like Me), some pop tunes, and of course round it out with her "new at the time" hit song Cabaret and you have a great Liza Concert.

I got this on Christopher Street (GAY) at a street fair (and yes I had my blue hankie in my back right pocket) for 99 cents!  And then a week ago at a BBQ we had our dear friend Kenny gave us a second copy which I passed along to our friend Tirzta because face it, one should have as much Liza in ones life as one possibly can.

(Natural Man)
I literally have a piece of Liza and it fits. For Christmas a few years ago Dan got me a shirt worn by Liza on Arrested Development. I wear it on nights when I need the strength of a real homosexual, like Liza, to get me through.

(Shine on Harvest Moon)
So that's all for now, have a Happy Pride weekend, and behave yourself Liza is watching.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Voodoo SWEET!

I have always had a fascination with magic, and of course voodoo.  There are quite a few voodoo recordings out there and this is the first, of hopefully many, over the course of my record collecting life.  This I would put more into the Lounge/Exotica/Jazz category as it's a music album and not say an album full of voodoo chants.  Either way I love this!  Side one is just the Voodoo Suite, side two are other lounge standards.
There is a great story on the back cover though as is often the case with LP's of it's time, it's long winded, and written in a difficult manor, unlike my more modern, laid back, and some would lazy style of writing.  It boils down to this, Shorty Rogers (a jazz trumpeter and fluglehornist responsible for the "west coast jazz sound") and Perez Prado (a Cuban band leader, musician, singer, songwriter, and general music genius) were hired by a producer name Herman Diaz to record a new sounding jazz album using primitive rhythms.  Here is Voodoo Suite, I am obsessed!  Click Here

I got this on my trip to Salem, Oregon (the crystal meth capitol of the world) at a little record store recamended to me by my friends over at Ranch Records.  I actually liked the store alot, however I was forced to leave before I was done digging because the owner and his son got into a knock down drag out fight.  I did get some great stuff, but people should learn that it affects business when you are assholes.
I keep finding more random voodoo shit around my house.  This came from a book fair at Liberty Elementary School from when i was but a wee homosexual.  Isn't it wild that they were pleddling voodoo to 2nd graders, they could never get away with that now.

(In the Mood)
Well there's only one thing left to do, stick a pin in it, I'm done.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

My What a Little Box You Have

Malvina Reynolds was a folk singer and song writer probably best know for the title song from the first 2 seasons of the Showtime series WEEDS (after the first two seasons WEEDS went wildly out of control and totally lost focus and lost the theme song as well).  Though Little Boxes does not appear on this album Malvina! Held Over is chalk full of little gems for everyone's enjoyment.  For instance the track bellow titled God Bless the Grass, a song which also could have been the theme for WEEDS.

Malvina was a kind of Jackee' of all trades, a singer, songwriter, political activist...wait she actually sounds like Bono, only not an obnoxious pain in the ass.  She started song writing late in life, contributing hits to many folk and rock singers also a regular on Sesame Street as a character named Kate.  Unfortunatley a search on youtube for a video of Malvina has been rendered impossible as the dreadful Kate Perry apparently appeared on "the street" wearing a low cut dress and there are way to many hundreds of those to sift through.
I have no idea where I got this, but I know I only paid 99 cents for it and I am sure it was a Christmas gift for Dan.  This was a gay gasp album.  You know the kind of thing you never expected to see in a thousand years, in fact probably had never considered even finding, and then pow!  There is it, and for only 99 cents.

(If You Love Me)
The third Monday of ever month I do a show called Too Ugly For TV (I play a lovely demure lass named Vodka Stinger) and my co-host and I performed "Little Boxes" accompanied on the autoharp which I am horrible at playing.  It's a fun watch and if you've never seen the show and you live in NYC drop me a line and I'll shoot you an invite to our next show in July.

Click Here for a treat.

Monday, June 20, 2011

10, 000 PAGE VIEWS Merrill Womach Style

We must have passed 10, 000 hits while I was on vacation and I am just now noticing, so a great big giant Vinyl Whores thank you to everyone who reads our blog!  We love doing it, and I am so glad to have people who enjoy reading it.  Now in honor of 10,000 views and our 70th post, I thought I'd dig out something really weird to share.
This is Merrill Womach not Michael Crawford, he was in a plane crash which left him disfigured and severely burned an excuse Michael Crawford does not have for looking the way he does.  Merrill was also a mortician, and a church gospel singer with a full hearty bellow that I get such a kick out of.  This album tells the tale of Merrill's harrowing experience, in words, music, and (thank GOD) pictures.
This is the Plane Crash, which looks less like a plane and more like the shanty that Jason Vorhees lived in Friday the 13th Part 2, but i guess that will happen to a plane when both engines explode on impact.
I have a feeling this is an actor playing Doctor Edward Hammacker, and that actor is....Michael Douglas.  This is of course before Douglas went under the knife himself...if i had a dollar for every stitch in his face.
And here is the creme de' la' creme, the picture that is truly worth a thousand words, Merrill's poor head.  It makes me want BBQ...mmmmm BBQ.
Here is Virgina, Merrill's wife.  We are upset for her of course, but at the same time we are loving her choice in decor, and her perfect bouffant hair.
Here are Merrill and Virgina's kids.  Dan is a hipster, Judie is awesome cause she spells her name with an "ie" and Marlene is a tramp.
I wish Merrill was wearing Virgina's wig.
Merrill Feels bad for anyone who doesn't have God in their lives, while me being a little more practical am feeling bad for the Womach's especially if they don't have heath insurance.
My favorite line from the whole damn thing "All through the whole operation he sang and sang--the whole operation!!"  I can't get the image of Merrill lying there belting out religious tunes all during major reconstructive surgery.  But God works in mysterious ways....
I love when life can take a big old shit on a person and they find the silver lining through God.  Amazing...stupid, but amazing.
This is Merrill's final message to us all, well not his final message I saved the best for last.  This is a clip from the 30 minute movie about the ordeal of Merrill Womach where he BELTS out his most famous tune in a male hospital ward.  Weird, check!  Awesome, check!  Now do yourself a huge favor and watch this video clip or you will burn in hell.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

What Are You Listening To?

I sometimes marvel at the variety of music record collecting allows, for instance the three albums I had on yesterday while I was supposed to be cleaning my apartment but instead I was sitting on the couch playing Words With Friends on my new Iphone, listening to Queen, Jimmy Smith, and Loretta Lynn.  What records do you have out right now??  Which album are you playing over and over??  Feel free to share in the comments! 

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Quiet! Village...

When it comes to Lounge/Exotica it's gets no loungier than Martin Denny.  Mayhaps it's why he is known as the "Father of Exotica" a "title" I am seriously jealous of.  There is only one "title" that would be better, the "Chancellor of Exotica" but that's beside the point. I adore this video of Denny and his band playing live outdoors in Hawaii while the camera takes you through what I suppose is the "Quiet Village".  Take note of the fat Hawaiian man lounging awkwardly as the women folk work. It's amazing.

"During an engagement at the Shell Bar, Denny discovered what would become his trademark and the birth of "exotica." The bar had a very exotic setting: a little pool of water right outside the bandstand, rocks and palm trees growing around, very quiet and relaxed. As the group played at night, Denny became aware of bullfrogs croaking. The croaking blended with the music and when the band stopped, so did the frogs. Denny thought this to be a coincidence, but when he tried the tune again later, the same thing happened. This time, his bandmates began doing all sorts of tropical bird calls as a gag. The band thought it nothing more than a joke. The next day, though, someone approached Denny and asked if he would do the arrangement with the birds and frogs. The more Denny thought about it, the more it made sense. At rehearsal, he had the band do "Quiet Village" with each doing a bird call spaced apart. Denny did the frog part on a grooved cylinder and the whole thing became incorporated into the arrangement of "Quiet Village". It sold over one million copies, and was awarded a gold disc."
This came from Ranch Records in Salem Oregon, where I just spent a week convalescing and record digging, it was heaven.  Not so fun was bringing the 100 some odd albums I bought back on the plane as my carry on's. The track below is Sake Rock another fabulous selection from this wonderful album.

Our record player is on the fritz, so until we get it back in order I'll just be using youtube videos rather than audio embeds. Below is Martinique.

"Quiet Village" is an exotica instrumental that was originally written and performed by Les Baxter in 1952. In the liner notes to his album, Ritual of the Savage (Le sacre du sauvage), Baxter described the themes he was conveying in the work:
[t]he jungle grows more dense as the river boat slowly makes its way into the deep interior. A snake slithers into the water, flushing a brilliantly plumaged bird who soars into the clearing above a quiet village. Here is a musical portrait of a tropical village deserted in the mid-day heat.
Seven years later, in 1959, Martin Denny added exotic sounds to the song, and his instrumental version made it to number four on the pop singles chart and number eleven on the R&B chart. Denny also recorded a bossa nova version of the song in 1964 and a version on Moog synthesizer in 1969. In 1977, The Ritchie Family recorded a disco version of the song and added vocals. The single was included on their African Queens album. Along with the album's title track as well as "Summer Dance", "Quiet Village" hit number one for three weeks in 1977. However, unlike the Martin Denny version, The Ritchie Family recording did not chart on the pop singles or R&B chart.  The original single hit was a mono recording edited to 2:42, and this length version was used on the Liberty album as well. There was a different recording, done in stereo, used on stereo Liberty LP's and many subsequent reissues. The full length version only made is first appearance sometime in the 1980's.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Back from Vacation with Baby's first LP

Well I had as good a time as anyone can have back in Salem, Oregon while on vacation.  Saw family mostly and a couple friends, and most important I did a little digging!  I came back with a few treasures I can't wait to share with you all, but alas Time Warner's internet is being a turd today.  I was able to get this one picture uploaded for your shear enjoyment. a freaky baby.  You would think they would have cleaned the schmustz off it's face before it became the poster child for Baby's First L.P. and Record, but I am glad they didn't.  Hopefully all will be back to normal tomorrow and I can share some of the other amazing LP's I got and as always click to follow me on blogger or click "like" for Facebook.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Could I Get Some Kangaroo With These Pancakes?

I love exposing children to the classics and so does the International House of Pancakes and Captain Kangaroo.  This is gonna be a quickie post as I have to finish packing so i can catch a plane out west and see the family.  I figured the cover art pretty much says it all, Disney ain't got nothing on this amazing corporate sponsored genius album.  Not only is the Captain cavorting with the woodland creatures from the classical piece Peter and the Wolf, but the whole lot of them are heading to the IHOP.  I'll be whoring it up my time in Oregon, already got record digging dates with my dearest friends Amanda and David and I may do a little vacation updating but otherwise see you all in a week with many new treasures.

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Gracious Buffet Living

After living in New York for 13 years I have decided to become an agoraphobic.  I just hate people so much.  Since I will still need a social life I am exploring the options like BBQ's, Cocktail Party's and Buffet's.  Lucky for me I already have the soundtrack for my new life as a shut in, Gracious Music for Buffet Living.
Look at these two!  Gracious living at it's finest.  Ummmm Gracious Buffet living that is.  That broad has some junk in her trunk.  And he looks like Cole Porter.
I think a closer look at this buffet is in order
Look at these turds, what an amazing spread. With enough knives for a full fledged throwing competition,a ham, maple walnut chiffon cake, marsh mellows, a small reasonable bowl of baked beans (THEY DO NOT WANT LEFTOVERS), Crudité including black olives, oranges, raw yam, scallion, white onion, and a pickle. All while tossing their salad with a smile.

I am sure many of you are interested in hosting youR own buffet party, but you are probably worried about it as well.  All the pressure of what to cook falling onto your shoulders.  Well the producers of this album have included many recipes.  For instance you to can make a Ham Mousse.


I am on the lookout for the other albums in this series, Gracious BBQ living, Music to Play after the Dance, and music for a Foursome! HA! Check and Check

Friday, June 3, 2011


It was a sign of the times when the announcement came that the famed Liberace Museum would close in October of last year.  A Las Vegas staple the likes of Graceland or Dollywood and when it shut its doors it was truly the end of an era.  Wladziu Valentino Liberac or as he is better known Liberace, was a famed piano player and entertainer, and the original Mr. Las Vegas...and he was a big old Homo.  This would have been shocking news to those who loved him at the height of his popularity even though his costumes, makeup, and home make Elton John look like Lee Marvin.  I thought this quote from british columnist William Connor kind of summed it up perfectly calling Liberace   "…the summit of sex—the pinnacle of masculine, feminine, and neuter. Everything that he, she, and it can ever want… a deadly, winking, sniggering, snuggling, chromium-plated, scent-impregnated, luminous, quivering, giggling, fruit-flavoured, mincing, ice-covered heap of mother love "  
Liberace came along a little before my time, though I remember hearing adults making references to his flambouant behavior my whole life, my only real connection to him as a performer comes from the Hobbling scene in the Stephen King Film Misery.  If you listen you hear Liberace do the introduction just before he begins playing Moonlight Sonata and Kathy Bates breaks both his ankles.
He was skilled and obviously very talented, and charming in a child molester kind of way.

The thing i really love is watching how much fun he is having whiles he plays...well that and the rhinstone studded coat but I am a bitch sucker for sequins and showboatery.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

The Ugliest Girl in the World (Not Willow Smith)

Since the rapture was such a colossal let down I thought I would introduce the world to a little girl who knows a thing or two about the Bible.  Her name is Little Marcy, and she is without any doubt the ugliest little girl in the world.  Let me put it this way, she makes Willow Smith (the former ugliest girl in the world) look like Liz Taylor and that's no easy feat.  Little Marcy is like Sissy Spacek, Nellie Olsen, and Arnold the pig from Green Acres pooped a monster child who knows a thing or two about The Bible and she sings!
In this drawing we see just how monstrous Little Marcy truly is, towering above this assortment of Bible characters, probably contemplating their demise.  
Then there is the Little Marcy Doll...comparing it to Chucky doesn't begin to address how frightening this doll is...that being said IF ANYONE SEES ONE OF THESE AT A THRIFT STORE, GARAGE SALE, Etc please get it for me!!  I have a small collection of creepy dolls and she would fit right in,
(From Left to Right) Swamp Baby, Creepy Bunny, Bethel, Garbage Face, Annie, and Sleepy Baby.
(From Left to Right) Shelley Duvall, Mexican man, Robe, Barbra Streisand, and Swamp Baby Again.  Wouldn't the Little Marcy Doll Fit in Perfectly?

This....I have no words for...