Sunday, July 24, 2011

Muhammad Ali Fights Tooth Decay

2 years ago I went home for vacation and the night before I had a dentist checkup (with the wonderful Megan Muth) my dearest friend Amanda and I hit the bars of Salem, Oregon.  Upon finding out that a round of drinks cost six dollars we immediately ordered several more before our designated driver took us home where we polished off a couple bottles of wine.  Needless to say come 8am the next morning I was quite hungover.  I arrived at the dentist and the first words out of Megan's mouth were "well that's a root canal".  She filled 6 cavities and sent me to an oral surgeon who performed said root canal in one 6 hour block (normally they spread that kind of thing over a week.)  If only I had this album I could have saved myself that excruciating torture.  Needless to say I floss and brush like a fiend now! 
Me Getting My Root Canal
Now it's time to address the issue at hand.  Who the hell thought Muhammad Ali should be the spokesperson for fighting tooth decay?  Whoever it was should win an award cause it is genius!  Almost as genius as the list of guest stars. (oh and I am loving the Asian girl under the rainbow)
Ozzie Davis??  FRANK SINATRA!!  This is too much for me to handle.  Ali and His Gang is kind of a holy grail for those of us to collect weird records namely because this is just so strange.  Dan got this in Minnesota at Hymie's Records for I think 5.99 which is awesome cause it's going on ebay for 95 bucks.  SCORE!!!
There is no way Frank liked being surrounded by ethnic children, however Ole Blue Eyes is serious about his teeth..... and his smokes,..... and his booze.   But wait the celebrity cavalcade isn't done yet.
Howard Cosell!!  If only it were Marv Albert!  He was a sports caster with great teeth.  Just ask the chick he he bit 15 times on the neck and then sodomized. 
I hate Mr. Tooth Decay.  He is a colossal butthole who will fuck your teeth up if you don't floss and brush, trust me I learned the stupid way.  But being a drag queen doesn't provide the best dental plan, that's why my friend Jules who is a veterinarian has been my dentist/doctor for the last 10 years.  I live for horse antibiotics.
Look at this effed up shit!  It's so Yellow Submarine, trippy, but wonderful.  I suppose kids would respond to this artwork, it makes me wanna eat some fungus and wait for the walls to start breathing.  Pay special attention to old Franky picking apples, and the black gentlemen who appears to have mounted that tree.
Even the sleeve is decorated with weird shit.  Speaking of walls breathing I can't wait to find Ali's Next album where he battles the Dope King and Peter Pusher.  2 very dear friends of mine.
And finally come the thank you's.  Every album is a collaboration and it was great that Ali included so many thanks you's.  My favorite being a special message sent o the one and only Lily Tomlin.
The moral of this story is an easy one, brush your damn teeth and floss.  Don't end up like me, hungover, spending 10 hours in the dentist chair unless you want a good story for your blog.

2 comments:

  1. Who the hell is Jayne Kennedy?

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  2. Man, that album cover would be a mess if it weren't for that rainbow stylishly tying it all together.

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